Frequently Asked Questions
EMDR
How does EMDR work?
Can I do EMDR without a trained therapist?
How will I know if I have truly resolved an
old issue?
HOW TO FIND an EMDR therapist
Alternating Tones
Why alternating tones?
Prayer
Is the Healing Connection Prayer
right for everyone?
Does prayer really work?
Why are some prayers not answered?
Should we really try to research prayer or
figure out how it works?
How does EMDR work?
There is so much that we do not understand about how
the mind works and how it influences the healing of the body. From
my own experience and the testimonies of thousands of EMDR therapists
around the world, I have seen astounding healing take place that
could never have been achieved with talk therapy alone; numerous
research studies have verified these results. (See www.emdr.org
and click on ‘Controlled Studies’ or ‘Efficacy of
EMDR’).
Modern brain imaging technology has helped increase
our understanding about this healing change. Dr. Bissel van der
Kolk, who heads the Harvard Trauma Research Center, has used PET
scans to see what is happening in the brain when this healing is
taking place. We understand, as a result of van der Kolk’s
work, that traumatic memories are stored primarily in the right
amygdala (part of the limbic system) along with the body sensations
that were present when the event first happened, as well as memory
of markers or triggers that remind us of the traumatic event. Thus,
when we encounter one of these markers or triggers, we may experience
the body sensations, such as fear, vulnerability, shame, panic,
etc. that we felt at the time the event originally occurred. We
tend to spend a great deal of emotional energy trying to avoid these
feelings (body sensations, triggers, and memories). EMDR therapy
provides a way of deliberately focusing on these memories and the
attached body sensations, while experiencing alternating sensations
in the form of eye movements, alternating tones, alternating vibrations,
or any sensation that stimulates the right then the left side of
the body.
With the help of a skilled EMDR therapist, the patient
draws from his or her own resources and knowledge and can move past
the experience. After treatment, the memory no longer holds the
uncomfortable body sensations. Instead of feeling fear or vulnerability,
the patient may experience relief and pride in knowing that he or
she lived through the experience and learned from it. The brain
stores memories of the beautiful sunset or the embrace of a loved
one in much the same way as it stores traumas. EMDR can help to
fill the mind with positive images, as is done with the Healing
Connection Prayer; (b) erase the negative emotional charge from
old traumatic memories or faulty beliefs, as with EMDR treatment;
and/or spiritual healing; or (c) both. By choosing to fill the present
with positive images like the Healing Connection Prayer, as well
as clear up old traumatic memories or faulty beliefs about self,
a person can be truly free to be all that he can be. The past no
longer has a negative hold. A person can ACT rather than RE-ACT.
He, himself can make choices, rather than be pushed around by old
fears, insecurities, habits, or other issues.
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Can I do EMDR without a trained
therapist?
EMDR is a very powerful technique preformed by skilled
and well-trained therapists. It is far more that just moving your
eyes or tapping alternately. If you need to deal with traumatic
events, or if you cannot get enough relief from the Healing Connection
Prayer CD or other common resources, it is best to locate an experienced
EMDR-trained therapist to help you deal with difficult issues.
EMDR therapists must first be skilled in psychotherapy
before they become trained in EMDR. After completing the well planned
and executed training protocol, skilled therapists continually study
to fine-tune their skills. Skilled EMDR therapists continue to use
the many treatment skills and knowledge that they were taught in
traditional psychotherapy training, but they deliver these with
the more effective EMDR tools. The thousands of skilled EMDR therapists
around the world are continually developing new and effective treatments
using EMDR. One of the newer EMDR applications is the spiritual
meditation in the Healing Connection Prayer.
It is important that traumatized people do not try
to do EMDR on themselves. If a person has been locked into a disturbing
belief for several years, it may be impossible to move past it without
help. For instance, a woman who has always felt that she is dirty
or damaged by childhood abuse may intellectually know that it is
not true, but she may not be able to move past that faulty belief
without help from an experienced therapist. Also traumatic memories
may become clearer with alternating stimulation, or repressed memories
may emerge. These additional facts may be very distressing or overwhelming.
An experienced EMDR therapist can safely help the patient heal from
a small piece of information at a time, and move on.
The Healing Connection Prayer is not meant to be a
cure-all or a substitute for an experienced therapist when processing
emotional trauma. Instead it is meant to be a powerful resource
that can be used for spiritual growth and coping with daily life.
God may use the prayer to totally heal a less-traumatized person
or He may guide the person to a trained therapist or someone else
who can help.
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How will I know if I have truly
resolved an old issue?
When you think about the event in question, how does
your body feel? If you feel any disturbance in your body, the event
is likely still a problem. Even if you only think of the event once
in a blue moon and have a full productive life - if you still feel
disturbance when you think about it, it is likely that it will surface
at the wrong time and cause you to act or feel inappropriately.
Old disturbing issues take a lot of energy to hold back. That is
energy that you can use to live life to it’s fullest.
Examples:
1. You seldom think about your ex but when someone
says or does something that reminds you of him or her, you react;
or you avoid other relationships; or you
2. You seldom think about the childhood abuse, but
you find yourself doing things that your abuser did, or worry that
you might.
3. You seldom think about the childhood abuse, but
either overreact or avoid situations which remind you of the abuse.
In each of these examples, you may believe that you have come as
far as you can in recovery, but EMDR may be able to help you to
go even farther and stop reacting, overreacting, avoiding, or feeling
upset.
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HOW TO FIND an EMDR therapist
Therapists specifically trained to use EMDR and the
Healing Connection are listed on this website. Other sources for
EMDR therapists in your area are www.emdr.org
or www.emdria.org,
or www.kitchur.org.
Other lists of therapists are www.foraccess.com
then key in EMDR.
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Why alternating tones?
A MEETING OF THE MIND: Alternating tones, taps, or
eye movements boost the brain’s ability to process with the
whole brain: the emotional right brain and the logical left brain.
You are probably aware of times when your logical (left) brain said,
“Don’t say anything.” But words kept coming out of
your mouth even while you were trying to stop yourself. Your emotional
right brain had a mind of it’s own and over ruled your logic.
At other times your logical left brain said, “Go
ahead and say it. You know the answer.” But your emotional
right brain made you mute. You might KNOW (left) that the spider
can’t really hurt you or that the elevator is safe, but your
irrational fear (right) immobilizes you. An anorexic teenager may
know logically that she is underweight and that her health is at
risk (left brain), but she is emotionally overwhelmed by the thought
of eating or gaining any weight and may feel irrational guilt for
eating (right brain). These are just a few examples of how we have
two independent brains that often don’t cooperate. In good
times, we use both brains in harmony, but in times of stress or
dysfunction, the emotional right brain seems to overrule the logical
left.The right brain primarily processes emotions and body sensations.
The left is the seat of logic, math, language, and reasoning.
Most of the tasks of psychotherapy involve trying
to create a meeting of the minds. We know that understanding a problem
alone does not necessarily solve it. We may be able to point to
a specific event or reason for our irrational behavior, but that
doesn’t help in correcting it. We may even be so committed
to our irrational behavior that we have elaborate justification
for it.
In 1987 a young psychotherapist by the name of Francene
Shipiro was walking through the park struggling in her mind with
a personal issue. Her eyes began to spontaneously move rapidly back
and forth. Suddenly she felt a sense of resolution about the issue,
and relief in her body. Puzzled by the rapid resolution to a problem
that had vexed her for a long while, she began to question what
had made the difference. She pondered the possibility that the strange
eye movements she experienced that day might have helped bring things
to the surface, much like rapid eye movements in REM sleep may help
bring up things from the unconscious mind during dreams. She began
experimenting with the idea and found that others got relief when
they did the strange eye movements while thinking about a disturbing
event and noticing the body sensations connected with the disturbing
event.
She went on to develop a treatment protocol and researched
it’s effectiveness with Viet Nam vets who had been crippled
by memories of the wartime traumatic event. These vets as well as
victims of rape and other traumas found that the strange treatment
was remarkably healing. The lasting effect of only three sessions
was astounding. Since that time the EMDR protocols have been refined
and improved by thousands of talented therapists around the world.
EMDR has proven to be extremely effective with a wide
variety of emotional problems and dilemmas. It is used by over -----
skilled therapists around the world and is gaining acceptance by
all authorities. It was approved by the American Psychiatric Association
in 19--, and by ----- in 19---. EMDR is now the most researched
and validated treatment approach for post-traumatic stress disorder
and a host of other difficult treatment problems. (See www.emdr.org
and click on ‘Controlled Studies’ or ‘Efficacy of
EMDR’) Since it’s initial use with posttraumatic stress
disorder, EMDR has proven to be effective in a wide variety of problems
or concerns. Other valuable ways to apply EMDR are to increase relaxation,
meditation, build personal resources, and enhance spiritual growth.
These are the applications used in the Healing Connection Prayer
CD. Over the years we have also learned that eye movements are only
one of many types of bilateral stimulation that provide the same
lasting, high-quality results. A skilled therapist can use alternating
sounds, taps, vibrations, etc. to guide the person through the steps
of resolution. Alternating sounds are used in the Healing connection
Prayer CD to help reinforce positive attitudes and resources.
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Is the Healing Connection Prayer
right for everyone?
The Healing Connection Prayer is designed to help
the listener focus on only positive images. However, sometimes,
negative images intrude. If this occurs and the following suggestions
do not help, it is best not to listen to the CD and to seek professional
help. Some people choose a ‘beautiful place in nature’
that has connections with a negative event. For instance it may
be a place that was visited by the abuser, or a place that the listener
went to escape the abuse. If that is the case, it is important to
pick a special place in nature that is free from negative influence.
It may be necessary to pick a place that is generic like a waterfall,
a beach or and meadow. In the section on ‘Protection’
(section 6) the listener is guided to create a special container
for difficult memories from the past. “You can put this person
and the wounds he or she inflicted in a special memory container
that you can create in a different place in your mind. This memory
container can be a box, a jar, a filing cabinet, or a junk drawer
where the painful memory can be stored, temporarily, until you have
the support you need and the time is right to completely resolve
it” A memory container allows most people to put the difficult
memory aside temporarily and get on with life in the present. If
you are not able to use this technique to put the memory or concern
aside, it may be best to avoid listening to the Healing Connection
Prayer and to seek professional help.
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Does prayer really work?
No one understands how prayer works, but every major
religion in the history of man seems to have prayer as a major part
of the spiritual life. Although some people discount the value of
prayer, it is hard to explain that something that has no value could
continue to be important to all religions throughout history and
across cultures.
Even though we cannot explain prayer, we can learn
a lot about it from those who are powerful prayer warriors, Biblical
examples as well as contemporary. I tend to believe that prayer
works on all of several different levels:
1. The first level involves only what happens within
the person who prays or believes someone is praying for him or her.
Even skeptics do not discount the value of this level of prayer.
This ‘personal level’ of prayer effectiveness may be due
to the relaxation effect of the prayer. Prayer usually makes people
feel more peaceful and relaxed. While listening to the Healing Connection
Prayer CD, for instance, listeners – regardless of religious
beliefs - are usually able to block out stressful events and emotions
and give their body an important break. Because of this relaxation
response, the body’s natural immune system can work more effectively.
Energy that is normally wasted in stress or worry can go to fighting
off bacteria, disease, etc. There is no question that the greater
the stress, the greater the likelihood of illness – and vice-versa.
The 'personal level of prayer' effectiveness may also
involve what is known as a placebo effect: a change in symptoms
that is not related to an outside force, but is brought about by
an increased self-repair due to the belief of the person receiving
the placebo. Medical literature is full of documented cases where
people got well on a sugar pill. The healing placebo could be a
lucky charm, a pill, or any number of things that the person puts
his or her faith in. Just knowing that others are praying for you
could also cause this placebo effect if you believe that prayer
works. LeShan (1974, p. 125) reported an incident where a man asked
him to do a distant healing for an extremely painful condition that
required immediate and intensive surgery. LeShan promised to do
the healing that night, but forgot because of a pressing schedule.
The man, however, reported a miraculous cure when he awoke the next
morning. His medical specialist was astounded when he reviewed the
pre and post X-rays and offered to sponsor publication in a scientific
journal. Did this healing occur as a placebo effect because the
patient believed? Or was it the patient’s own prayer, LeShan’s
initial commitment, or some other person’s prayer to a power
outside himself that caused the astonishing results?
2. Another level of prayer effectiveness might be
called the ‘interpersonal level’. This involves a profound
interconnectedness between human beings. People who acknowledge
the value of this type of prayer may or may not believe that it
involves God. This is where one person prays for another person,
with or without the knowledge of that person.
It is possible that certain people have a special
gift of intercessory prayer for others. It may involve an unexplainable
energy that one person can send to another. Some people suggest
that these cures are due to some unfamiliar form of physical energy
such as an extremely low frequency electromagnetic radiation with
excellent “penetrating” properties that can travel great
distances. (add Reference).
A friend of mine was diagnosed with ovarian cancer
and x-rays showed over 2/3 of her uterus eaten up with the cancer.
She was scheduled for surgery on Monday and her family came to be
with her. Her sister joined her in my Sunday School class the day
before surgery. We all gathered around her and went around the room
praying. We felt a powerful presence of energy in the room. The
next day her cancer was gone. That was three years ago and it has
not returned. I have always said, “If we could bottle this
power, it would transform the world.” Some might explain this
miraculous result by saying my friend was so convinced by our powerful
support that her own beliefs brought about the cure by a placebo
type response. Having experienced it, I think it was something much
more. I felt each person there drew on the faith of the others AND
called on a power far greater than anything that was within my friend
or within that room, but I am including the example here because
it is possible that the cure resulted from the cumulative energy
of those praying.
3. A third, more powerful level of prayer involves
far more than we can begin to explain, but we can document the results.
A number of excellent research studies have shown significant results
that could only be attributed to intercessory prayer:
(a). Dr. Rogerio Lobo, chairman of obstetrics and gynecology
(OB/GYN) at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons
led a very interesting double blind study of the effects of prayer
on infertility. The study involved 199 women who planned in-vitro
fertilization and embryo transfers at the Cha Hospital in Seoul,
Korea. None of the women, nor the physicians or any medical personnel
caring for the women were aware of the study or that any patients
were being prayer for. Half of the women were randomly assigned
to have one of several Christian prayer groups in the U.S., Canada,
and Australia pray for them. A photograph of each patient was
given to “her” prayer group. While one set of prayer
groups prayed directly for the women, a second set of prayer groups
prayed for the first set, and a third group prayed for both groups.
These people began praying within five days of the initial hormone
treatment that stimulates egg development and continued to pray
for three weeks. The women in the prayed-for group got pregnant
twice as often as those who were not prayed for (50% instead of
26%). (ref: http://cpmcnet.columbia.edu/dept/ps)
(b). Another famous double blind, randomized study of prayer
efficacy was conducted by cardiologist Randolph Byrd, M.D. and
published in the well respected, peer reviewed Southern Medical
Journal in 1988. (…) Over ten months, 393 patients who were
admitted to the coronary care unit were, with informed consent,
randomized to a prayer group (192 patients) or a control group
(201 patients). Participating Christians outside the hospital
provided the prayer. Neither the patients nor their evaluating
physicians were aware of which patients were receiving prayer.
The prayed-for patients were five times less likely than the control
patients to require antibiotics and three times less likely to
develop pulmonary edema. None of the prayed-for patients required
endotracheal intubation, whereas 12 controls required such mechanical
ventilatory support. Fewer prayed-for than control patients died,
but the difference in this area was not statistically significant.
Most people who believe in prayer attribute the healing results
to a power far more powerful than intra-psychic placebo effects
or interpersonal influence on some energy field. People who believe
in the power of God (Christians, Jews, Moslems, and others) believe
that these miracles are the result of divine intervention. In
the end, we do not need to know how prayer works in order to reap
the benefits. In fact, recipients need not necessarily to believe
in prayer or in God for prayer to be effective.
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Why are some prayers not answered?
Not all prayers are answered. The research noted above shows that
prayer definitely makes a difference, yet many of those people did
not get answers. This is an age-old question, and I cannot begin
to give an answer. Sometimes we would be better off if we did not
get an answer to a prayer.A friend told me that he was glad God
did not answer his many prayers about certain love relationships
that he THOUGHT were the perfect mate. We may learn over the years
that we were better off without certain prayers answered. Other
times bad things happen to good people. We cannot fathom how a loving
God would let such things happen.
My belief is that God does not make bad things happen, but he is
there to help us through the experience. As a loving human parent
you may punish your children and redirect them, but you don’t
wish harm on them because they disobeyed you. And you certainly
don’t deliberately hurt them because you are disappointed or
angry with them. If harm does come, even if it happened because
your child defied you, you, as a loving parent, will be there to
help him or her through it and pray that he or she will learn an
important lesson.
I don’t believe our loving father in heaven deliberately causes
harm either. He may challenge and chide us, but not harm us. And
when bad things do happen to his earthly children, we can depend
on His awesome comforting love to help us through. Paul wrote; “In
all things God works for the good of those who love him and are
called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. (see my
personal story under Credits & Author’) That does not
say God makes good things happen to us. It says that when bad things
do happen that he will be there and work toward healing and good
for us.
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Should we really try to research prayer or figure
out how it works?
If we could at some point in history identify and understand the
energy that is responsible for remote healing, it would not diminish
the miraculous, awesome reality that God created us and our universe
with such a remarkable capacity for connecting with each other and
for healing.
It is fact that we were created with a remarkable healing ability,
which is strengthened by meditation and connection with a remote
healing energy. Whether we define that energy as “God”,
or “spirits”, or “guardian angels”, or somehow
come to give it a technical name such as a type of low frequency
electro-magnetic radiation – the results are still miraculous.
It seems only appropriate that God would use His natural laws
to accomplish His divine healing purpose. The fact that those laws
are so awesome that all our scientists, with all their advanced
scientific equipment are still baffled by it, just reinforces that
we have an awesome God.
As science continues to learn more and more about the human body,
we become more and more amazed at its complexity. We now can manipulate
specific parts of specific genes on specific chromosomes in the
nucleus of a single body cell. For me that knowledge just makes
me appreciate all the more the miraculous creation called our body.
In the same way, if we do at some time in the future, learn more
about how prayer heals people across the world, I will have a deeper
appreciation for God and His marvelous creation. I have an image
of a loving heavenly father and his angels taking delight in every
new discovery that His children make. Just like an earthly father
would look with excitement as his children discover their feet,
learn new words, discover new skills, or venture off into adult
life; so the Heavenly Father takes delight as we learn more about
His miraculous creation.
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